You Lighten My Life [final 2011]- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce

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You Lighten My Life final 2011- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce - Lyrics Critique

by Justin Cayce
(Bankok, Thailand)

Thanks guys and gals for the previous positive feedback on this song as it was in 2009. My daughter has made a simple studio recording since then with these revised lyrics. I'm looking for any improvement I still might make - any suggestions at all. Call me Mr. Arrogant - but I reckon this to be one of my better efforts now. Pure praise is also - always - very welcome. My ego is fragile... :)
......................................................
You Lighten My Life - © Justin Cayce, 2010
Ballad--Blues for Ladies – change “Lady” to “Baby”

Oh Lord I've been lost
For such a long, long time now
In the heart of the dark
And Lady it's left its mark now
I may be wasting my time
Trying to make you be mine now
And I may pay for today
But it's like everything's fine now

I… don't… care what they say
I… just… can't walk away
I… can… make it okay
Stay and we'll… find a way

`Cause Lady, you lighten my life
You… have… brightened my nights
With… you… everything's right
`Cause you brigh…ten my life
You lighten my life

So don't say a sound
And I'll turn your life round now
I'll fade your frown
Lady, I'll be your clown now
And maybe I shouldn't say
But you're the reason I stay now
The way you brighten my days
You make it all seem okay now

I… don't… care what they say
I… just… can't walk away
I… can… make it okay
Stay and we'll… find a way

`Cause Lady, you lighten my life
You… have… brightened my nights
With… you… ev'rything's right
`Cause you brigh…ten my - Lady,
you lighten my life
You… have… brightened my nights
With… you… ev'rything's right
`Cause you brigh…ten my life
You lighten my life...

(c) Justin Cayce 2010

PS. Thanks for reading this far.

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You Lighten My Life [final 2011]- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce - Lyrics Critique

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Sep 28, 2011
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now...now
by: Anonymous

youre rhyming now with now over and over and perhaps i need to hear it but i dont understand the pauses youve indicated makes it seem to choppy but on a lighter note im sure you have potential its just not in songwriting

Oct 05, 2011
Rating

Now, now, now
by: Gordon

Hey Anonymous!

Why put me down like that? If you have a problem finding anything positive or constuctive to say I suggest you practice reserving your negative thoughts for people you know.

There's no use at all in saying " you have potential its just not in songwriting " you poor, vicious-mouthed negativist!!! - And your " ...on a lighter note..." was not lighter, it was a dark, vicious putdown of a sensitive soul(all artists are - but you know that!).

So, don't wait until the day the dark ones close in around you to take your cursEd soul to hell before you apologize. I suggest you talk to God today.

Hope this helps,
Gordon (tough luv) Gray

Dec 01, 2011
Rating

Nowx4=now now now now
by: Agrees with Anonymous

u really shouldnt condemn someone to hell because your songwriting is inadequate i dont like your song either and your remarks are sophmoric and unneccessary you should post it on youtube.com well see if decent singing and salvage weak lyrics

Dec 01, 2011
Rating

Letts aviod speek abowt spilleng mistooks.
by: Anonymous

Yoo really can't consign someone to oblivion just because you agree with someone disagreeable. Your opinion that my songwriting is "inadequate" is merely another great example of passive-aggressive unconstructive negativism. So you don't like my lyrics - so what? Why bother to post? And if my remarks are "sophomoric" then to call them "unneccessary" is totally redundant. And maybe I am more soph(isticated) than moro(nic).

Thanks for suggesting that I post it on "youtube.com" but I don't have a computer or even a videophone. Though I agree with you that decent singing ( if the music is good) can salvage weak lyrics. You'll just have to take my word for it that everyone who has heard my daughter sing it has said that it's as great as any song they've ever heard; no - seriously!( but I won't be holding my breath - haha!)

But I do think it's worth repeating: If you didn't like it - why bother to post? Was Anonymous's critique so compelling that it deserved such a vicious defense? Or, more likely, maybe you know Anonymous... ? Am I right or am I right?

Justin Cayce

ps. Watch out for the hooks, they are barbed. :-)

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You Lighten My Life final 2011- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce - Lyrics Critique

Comments for You Lighten My Life [final 2011]- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce - Lyrics Critique

Comments for
You Lighten My Life [final 2011]- Balladine Blues - Justin Cayce - Lyrics Critique