Too Much To Lose - lyrics critique ballad

Nov 28, 2009
Rating

try studying more on lyric writing
by: Akilina Merel Koralie

sorry to say this only gets a generous 2. but instead of leaving it at that, i'll try to tell why. although i may not be one to talk for i am also a beginner so it may be more music fan based and on what i have learned thus far. also it is best to consult with more then a couple so try taking your lyrics and asking people if they can give advice on making it better. after all, alot of this may be my opinion.

good news:
it has a steady rhythm i like the title, and the bridge is pretty good.
the beginning does catch some interest and same with the title. i dont really know what a ballad is really, but i had this idea of a slow song and it kind of started music in my head.
i also like your little rhyming, it made me smile a bit at the "too much to lose, busy buying shoes" chorus. some of the lyrics are ok like at
"I’d been hunting for a clue but I couldn’t find one
That would help me understand were our love had gone" it sounds kind of deep, which love songs sometimes have.

critisism:
to tell the truth, some of the lyrics are kind of nonsense-ish and i and maybe others, dont like that, it may be ok at times if its catchy but its best to try not to do that.
i listen to mostly japanese songs so i dont know if i should say, but i heard a couple of songs where the chorus was kind of the same but sometimes words changed a little, i am only saying this cause it came to mind, and i find repitition kind of boring if used too much you dont have to take this info in mind if it skrews you up. and it may just be me, but you dont only buy shoes.

now the big one....try to stay more on the title topic. you are supposed to be talking about this girl and, well, what you mean you have too much to lose ( i guess) i'm thinking. the problem is, your fancy usage of words kind of distracts the listener from the point of the song.
yes sometimes if songs are catchy enough that they dont have to make sense but dont depend on that, after all would you like to listen to someone rambaling nonsense every 10 sec?

to some people love is serious, to some it is difficult, and think it is no joke

many think differently of love, so it is best to, when writing love songs, do it from your very heart, or if you never experianced love, what you think it would be like.

to me the song is confusing cause at first it gives off the one-sided love kind of thing then at "That would help me understand were our love had gone" suggests that you got into relations with this girl. then even though you are supposed to like this girl, you kind of discouraged her by saying that what she did wont work and you wont try fixing it is the kind of message the bridge starts bringing.

in other words it lacks flow

and i think that is all it is a rough start but all you gotta do is start polishing that roughness

Too Much To Lose - lyrics critique ballad

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Too Much To Lose - lyrics critique ballad