[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Home
Blog
How To Write Song
Question of Week
Songwriting Tips
Writing Lyrics
Songwriting
Building a Studio
Recommendations
SW Software
Songwriting Books
Discussion Forums
Lyrics Critique
Best Songwriters
Writing Songs
Studio Equipment
Music Software
Record Deals
Music Marketing
Music Business
Publishing
Build Your Website
Recording Studios
Free Newsletter
Who Wrote Song
About This Site
Contact
Privacy Policy

This was Love- Lyric Feedback - Alternative Pop/Rock

by Jane
(Perth, WA, Australia)

I know I bought this on my self
I know that I found someone else
and when you told me how you felt
I didn't know that 'this' was love

So I crawl back to your door
But things aren't like they were before
And you found some body new
We all do what we will do

And I thought I understood
I really thought I could
You’re only doing what I did
But I never new it that this was it..

And these walls won’t seem to change
And now nothing feels the same
All that's happened is too blame
But you'll never feel my pain...

You know I loved you from the start
I always hid that in my heart
But I can’t get over you
I know I need to....

See I was holding on to thoughts
Like you'd realize what you lost
And you come running back again
And this moment never ends...

It’s a crazy dream I have
Tho now I keep it to myself
Coz I know you feel the same
But things just never seem to change

Now this friendship has to end
Coz you've chosen her again
And I'm left out in the dark
With my broken battered heart...

So this is my good-bye
And yes I really want to cry
I know I'd do it all again
I didn't know that 'this' was love...




Comments for
This was Love- Lyric Feedback - Alternative Pop/Rock

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 12, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
wow!
by: Amber

This is really awesome i loved it!Great Work!!!=)

Dec 12, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks again..
by: Jane

This is bout the guy I will prob end up getting married to...lol so much drama in my life!!

Dec 15, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
WOW!
by: Gregory Alan Cotter II

it was so beautiful, and yet so powerful, loved it if you write songs like this, with the right music i'm sure you'll make it in no time.

Dec 15, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
.
by: krizialeahapelar

wow. that's deep. good job!

Dec 16, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Check it out...
by: Gregory Alan Cotter II a.k.a. Th Broken Child

Commented before, but check out my 2 songs and give me some feed back, "I'm Not Done With You" and "Alone". BTW don't change a thing in these lyrics, their so good, can't possibly get any better.

Dec 19, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
great
by: Blue

that was amazing. dont change a thing. rate my two songs "sticks and stones" and "winter". i need some feedback and i would appreciate if you would help. Good Job!

Dec 20, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstar
nice work
by: Anonymous

You go deep in your lyrics. That's good. The only suggestion I'd give is to have a repeatable chorus. Also, most songs have the same number of syllables in each number line of the different verses. As in, line one of every verse has the same number of syllables; line 2 of every verse ahs the same number of syllables. Get what I'm saying? That really helps when you're putting music to lyrics because you need it to flow well without having lots of random chords thrown in your taken out to match it up. But seriously, good lyrics.

Dec 31, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
be yourself
by: d olsen

i really like your song it may not be like everyone else would do but thats ok be yourself that is how you stand out

Apr 29, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Love it!
by: B

This song is great! I love it!!

May 09, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Wonderful!
by: Anonymous

This is really a great song! I wish I could write as well as u!*jealousy*(lol) Anyhoo, keep searchin' I know you'll find the right person someday and keep on writin'!=)

May 26, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstar
'Speachless'
by: Anonymous

Oh wow, I don't know what to say. I have been in the same situation as the plot of the song, and it really spoke to me. Nice personal fereance there. The only suggestion, and I do it too, you rymed a lot. It sounded more like a poem then a song. For that I will mark you down, but overall I did love it. Although there were some areas that could be improved, it has a great potential, good work, Keep it up!

Jul 08, 2009
Rating
starstarstar
Love the words... now to critique
by: Anonymous

All verses songs were great for those LONG church hyms we all dreaded having to sing the entirety of, however in modern day songwriting, especially your alt pop/rock genre, the song is made by the chorus as can be proved by almost all of the songs on the radio currently. You're words are ok, they say what you want them to, but in a sort of brunt way, which is ok but I like to do it in a more subtle eloquent way lyrically, essentially cutting out all that rhyming stuff :)

Dec 20, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstar
wow
by: Anonymous

I was looking for the chorus, but i'm not sure if you need one. i like it. expecially compared to the last song i read

Dec 27, 2010
Rating
starstarstar
Good Story line
by: JB

I really like your story and it will ring true for some. My advise would be to cull the verses for the most powerful images with matching rhyme patterns. I also think you would be well served to incorporate your hook into a chorus. There is real promise here. Good luck and thank you for sharing.

Click here to add your own comments





Search This Site:

Custom Search

Recommended For You

Songwriting Software:

Songwriting software can help you take your songwriting to a new level. Become a master songwriter. Read my reviews of the best songwriting software.

Learn about MasterWriter and Lyricist.

How to write a song:

Professional Songwriting Secrets

Learn how to write a song here.

creative songwriting course

Get video instructions on how to write hit songs here!

Favorite Songwriter (Musician) Products and Stores:

Check out our best songwriter/musician product recommendations.

Musical Instruments:

Click here to shop for musical instruments.

Get Your Free Ezine. Enter your E-mail Address

Enter your First Name (optional)

Then

Don't worry -- your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Ultimate Songwriting Xpress!.


Forums:

Join the discussions in our songwriter's forums.

Ultimate Songwriting is on Facebook. Click the like button below and join us on Facebook.

UltimateSongwriting.com on Twitter

Follow UltimateSongwriting.com on Twitter.