thinking bout you always lyrics critique

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thinking bout you always lyrics critique

by Rashelle Morris
(New South Wales)

Thinking about you makes me cry
Staying up late I wonder why
Wondering why life was this way
I was picked out, I was made to pay
My daddy left me when I was young
Left me to be raised by my mum

Still to this day I ask myself why
Look to the heavens I start to cry
I try to hold on and not give in
I try to stand tall, hold up my chin

I guess I?ll never really know
Why back then you let me go
And why you walked right outta my life
And left you daughter with your wife

I don?t blame you for what you did
But how could you walk out on your kid
I hope someday we?ll finally meet
Be able to stand tall up on my feet

You are so close but yet so far
All I can do is wish upon a star
Wish for the day we?ll finally meet
Wish for that moment, I always do
I?ve wished upon a star
So my wish gotta come true

You have a place right here in my heart
You?ve had a place there right from the start
You?ll always be right here with me
Each night I get down on my knees
Hold my hands together tight
And pray for you right through the night

Still to this day I ask myself why
Look to the heavens I start to cry
I try to hold on and not give in
I try to stand tall hold up my chin

I try to wear a smile each day
Hold back my feelings, lock them away
You don?t see the pain I?m feeling inside
I bottle it up, I just let it hide

You are so close but yet so far
All I can do is wish upon a star
Wish for the day we?ll finally meet
Wish for that moment, I always do
I?ve wished upon a star
So my wish gotta come true

It?s taken all these years to know
I have to hide my emotions so
Just burry them deep within
I?ve learnt to let no one in
And therefore I will never get hurt
And tears won?t fall upon my shirt

Tears flowing from my dark brown eyes
As I hold my head up to the skies
I try to hold on and not give in
I try to stand tall hold up my chin
Look to the heavens just above
Shouting out to you I?ll forever love

You have a place right here in my heart
You?ve had a place there right from the start
You?ll always be right here with me
Each night I get down on my knees
Hold my hands together tight
And pray for you right through the night

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thinking bout you always lyrics critique

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Apr 18, 2009
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good job
by: nathaniel ortiz

i like this really much your really good with detail

Apr 18, 2009
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Thankyou
by: Rashelle

Thankyou for ur comment im glad u really liked it this is one of my first songs ive written, im intending to write a whole lot more and with your comment it helps me to no im on the right track
thanx peace
xx

Apr 24, 2009
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Beautiful...
by: ~RES~

I started to cry a little reading this- it's quite beautiful. It's something just about anyone can relate to because we've all had loses of some kind and experienced that waiting and wishing, wondering what it would have been like if things were different, and all that. I think it's just perfect where you ended it- I was afraid it might start getting really repetative but it actually ended quite nicely. Good luck to you.
~RES~

Aug 31, 2009
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love it!
by: Anonymous

thats exactly how my father was, i havent seen him in over seven years..... so this song strikes me personally

Nov 28, 2009
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well...
by: Akilina Merel Koralie

dont fear the critisism as it makes you better k?

well here comes critisism

it may be truly as beautiful as everyone says, but i found it hard to feel it

the reason why is that i was really distracted while reading. i think the main reason is that you did to much of the rhyming, i mean you did it on pretty much every line. to me it made this hopeful song into more like a poem or a super long...nursery rhyme thing.

second, the song is kind of long. from the content it is a slow music type thing, at least that would be best type of music to use for slow songs, which makes it longer.

you gotta make it simple, and meaningful
and make it so even those that didnt experiance what you are writing about can feel it and shed tears or at least feel that sad or painful feel.

it is best to make your lyrics shorter, i mean, would you want to read a 3 page essay on....banana pudding when all you really need to know is the main point that it tastes good? or read a 1200 page book on the story of romeo and juliet telling every little thing like what romeo ate?

work on those k?

Feb 09, 2010
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Thankyou
by: Rashelle

Thanx for your opinion.. yea i see where you are coming from with the whole rhyming thing and um yea ill work on that in the future i dunno these lyrics like when i started writing it kinda just flowed outta my mind so i guess u cld say i was caught up in the momment anywho thanx for your opinion i will take it on board. like i said tho it is one of the first songs ive written but yea ur opinion is greatly appreciated.

much love Rashelle

Feb 09, 2010
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=P
by: Akilina Merel Koralie

its good to write wat comes. thas what i do. or you lose the idea then you just lose it

Feb 11, 2010
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Thanx
by: Rashelle

Yea thats true, happens to me all the time. If i have an idea on the song or im in the mood to write, lyrics just come to me. Unless i write these down i lose them. thanx for your comment x

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