Sunsets - Songwriting Critique

by Jesse
(Oshawa)

The sunsets in the west
The way we watched it hit the horizon
The way we were carelessly in love
But do i wish
Wish that my mistake didn't end it

Chorus: I'm lonely
Watchin the sunset
Alone without you, and i ask
Ask you, can you forgive me
(forgive me) and can you
Can you tay for the sunset

The golden skies, then the moonrise
But i can't see into
(Into) the future and I'm sorry
I didn't mean for it to hurt like that
My dad died
That was the reason I stood you up
But you know

repeat chorus

repeat chorus

Please (please) please
I need your help, Please
Before I die
Before you cry
Help us out, just forgive me, cause

repeat chorus

(Sunset sunset sunset sunset sunset)
I'd give anything to watch one more sunset with you