Strength To Carry On - Progressive/Rock - Lyrics Critique

by Francis
(Cincinnati, Ohio)

Alrighty, I'm 16 and I love writing songs and lyrics and want to know how i stack up. These are gonna go with a progressive-rock type of song....not the type of song for radio ;)


A fire roars inside the mind
The surface cold as ice
Signals sent and misread
Foreign language to the eyes
A ticking time bomb, hidden away
For none to ever know
Outside the world continues on
Inside the cold winds blow

Chorus :
And I wonder, what it takes
For those too weak to carry on
Prisoners to their own minds
The chains of pain forged by years gone
And sometimes I look up to the sky
Scream out loud to those that are lost
Pray that they will find the way
And the Strength to carry on

Instrumental Breakdown

Bridge 1: So many lost on a path of no return
Seeking the exit feared by so many now
What shall be found behind the black veil is a hell they never knew

Instrumental Break

Bridge 2 : Carrying on is the way to find the light
Ignited brush fires, of the lost souls mind
To light the darkened path, never to die
And exhume the hope that is buried in their minds

Slow tempo Change, solo


Chorus 2:
And I wonder, what it takes
For those too weak to carry on
Prisoners to their own minds
The chains of pain forged by years gone
And sometimes I look up to the sky
An invocation for those that are lost
Pray that they will find the way
And the Strength to carry on


Instrumental Breakdown/Solo to end