static --lyrics critique :))

[?] Subscribe To This Site

static --lyrics critique :))

by kelsey aka kellers
(wisconsin)

heres another one guys. lemme know what you think.. i personally love this one. :))

Static

It rang 8 times before you
Even bothered to answer
What did I do this time?
Mumbled hello got me to
Think you weren’t even there

Static’s filling in
You’re breaking up
I’m hanging up
You’re not listening anyway

I tried to call, tried to apologize
Why cant you ever look me in the eyes?!
Is it really hurting you that bad?
Am I the one that makes you mad?
Am I the reason you can sleep?
Is this what I get for being me? for being me
Oh-ohh-oh

It felt like I was talking
To a blank page
What did I say this time?
And her voice in the background
Made me absolutely sure

Static’s filling in
You’re breaking up
I’m hanging up
You’re not listening anyway

I tried to call, tried to apologize
Why cant you ever look me in the eyes?!
Is it really hurting you that bad?
Am I the one that makes you mad?
Am I the reason you can sleep?
Is this what I get for being me? for being me
Oh-ohh-oh

I can hear everything she’s saying to you
How it’s my problem now
I can’t see why you’d choose her over me
guess I’ll never know (x2)

I tried to call, tried to apologize
Why cant you ever look me in the eyes?!
Is it really hurting you that bad?
Am I the one that makes you mad?
Am I the reason you can sleep?
Is this what I get for being me? for being me
Oh-ohh-oh

Is this what I get!? (x3)
Is this what I get for being me?

Comments for
static --lyrics critique :))

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 13, 2008
Rating

;)
by: Anonymous

very nice. wonderful job!

Dec 04, 2008
Rating

Good
by: Anonymous

Very good

Dec 13, 2009
Rating

Rap it up!
by: Jeff

So I just found this site and a year after your post, here I am.

I liked the lyrics. I read this a couple of times and tried to vision it as a Pop song and a faster Rap style song. I like the faster version better. Your verse that repeats about "static" reminded me of how a Rap song will lead into each line and change pitch. (Think Eminem, Lose Yourself)

Anyway, I thought it was good.

Jun 28, 2011
Rating

Great Story
by: Luwi

wonderful theme, however, i feel the chorus needs to be revised. u shouldn't sacrifice the core message of the song for the sake of rhyme - e.g. "am i the one that makes u mad?" could be rewritten as "is it really that bad" or "if i lose u i'll lose everything i have" (not to say those are the best alternatives but feel free to use em'!!). also, i don't get the "for being me" bit. what exactly is it about u?? the listener shouldn't have to guess what u mean, make it clear. goodluck!!

Click here to add your own comments