[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Home
Blog
How To Write Song
Question of Week
Songwriting Tips
Writing Lyrics
Songwriting
Building a Studio
Recommendations
SW Software
Songwriting Books
Discussion Forums
Lyrics Critique
Best Songwriters
Writing Songs
Studio Equipment
Music Software
Record Deals
Music Marketing
Music Business
Publishing
Build Your Website
Recording Studios
Free Newsletter
Who Wrote Song
About This Site
Contact
Privacy Policy

Reunited Lyrics Critique- RnB

by Fazeela
(Nairobi, Kenya)

REUNITED( need help with the ending, a bridge perhaps or somethign like that)
Verse 1:

It was just a week ago
We were apart fighting
With alot of sadness
No more love but alot of hatred
Away we departed from each other
It was as if there was a big fire ring seperating us

Verse 2:

You didn't know how i felt
Upset, Angry and Confused
An extreme sense of sadness
It was as though you had a gun and shot me through my heart with it
It was as though I was dying
And you were being raken away by the police
So i would never see you again

Chorus:

We were once sad; shouting, screaming, arguing
Now we're happy; reunited, rejoicing, together
we are reunited thats all i can ask for
hapiness togetherness love
we are reunited at last!

Verse 3:

My heart is finally full with all your love
the joy, excitement and hapiness
there isn't anything that can seperate us now
For we are together now
After realising that we belong
I say......

Chorus:

We were once sad; shouting, screaming, arguing
Now we're happy; reunited, rejoicing, together
We are reunited thats all i can ask for
Hapiness togetherness love
We are reunited at last!




Comments for
Reunited Lyrics Critique- RnB

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 26, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Love the song
by: Anonymous

For the end of the song perhaps you could just sing the chorus slower/faster higher/lower.
Works with my style of song (quite similar to yours (YAY for good taste!)Or maybe you could pick out a line in the song like reunited and sing that over the chorus.
I love the idea of the song, it is really happy, unlike so many sad songs these days. (But I'm no one to talk for that)
Brilliant work keep it up :-)

Oct 20, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
cool
by: Monica

I Love the lyrics!1

Nov 25, 2009
Rating
starstarstar
Well...
by: Mali

It's a nice song. The structure of it is good. The idea and inspiration is strong. But the lyrics... Eh, they could be better.

For one thing, they don't rhyme. And my pet peeve is a song/poem that doesn't rhyme. This obviously won't be the case with everyone, as some people find it charming. I'm not trying to insult you, it's just not what I like.

As for the words, you've got the right idea. You're on the right track. But they seem a little unfocused. I think you're holding back on using small words. I completely understand that because NOBODY wants to write a song like 'Hannah Montana.' But you don't want your listeners confused, either.

On the bright side, you've got a very strong theme going for you. And this song is smart. It isn't superficial like so many artists are now. It's strong.

So overall, it's a good song with a good idea behind it, but the lyrics may need a little help.

Click here to add your own comments





Search This Site:

Custom Search

Recommended For You

Songwriting Software:

Songwriting software can help you take your songwriting to a new level. Become a master songwriter. Read my reviews of the best songwriting software.

Learn about MasterWriter and Lyricist.

How to write a song:

Professional Songwriting Secrets

Learn how to write a song here.

creative songwriting course

Get video instructions on how to write hit songs here!

Favorite Songwriter (Musician) Products and Stores:

Check out our best songwriter/musician product recommendations.

Musical Instruments:

Click here to shop for musical instruments.

Get Your Free Ezine. Enter your E-mail Address

Enter your First Name (optional)

Then

Don't worry -- your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Ultimate Songwriting Xpress!.


Forums:

Join the discussions in our songwriter's forums.

Ultimate Songwriting is on Facebook. Click the like button below and join us on Facebook.

UltimateSongwriting.com on Twitter

Follow UltimateSongwriting.com on Twitter.