Paradise - Lyric Critique - Country

by Niegel
(Muscatine)

First time poster, I write a lot of songs that people like, friends at least. Uh, i just need a lil help. Its supposed to be a kinda laid back feeling song, but anywho, lemme know, any suggestions are welcome.


(verse)
Lets take an early holiday
Fly somewhere far away
where no one can see us smile

listen to the ocean her sweet applause
clappin for us as we walk
on for miles and miles

(prechorus)

but when its time to leave
baby you better believe

(chorus)

we'll be stayin all our lives in paradise
no flip of a coin no roll of the dice
just me and you some ice cold drinks
the ocean blue and a nice warm breeze

baby with you thats the only place
i wanna be
toes in the sand
walking hand in hand

---I need more, but i really can't figure out what it needs, let me know what you guys think.