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OUT OF CONTROL country Lyrics Critique By Charlie from Alabama

by Charlie
(alabama)

He was her man
So with the back of his hand
He would remind her time after time
He?d watch the miles on her car
If she drove too far
It would drive him out of his mind
He kept her broken and weak too afraid to seek
The help that she knew she needed
But today when he?s gone
Her friend calls on the phone
And ask? is that how you want to be treated??

Get out of control
Get out of his control
If you are tired of hurting
You have got to let him go
He has had control of your life
Since he made you his wife
You were married when you were eighteen
But if you walk out that door
You are his doormat no more
Come on, you know what I mean
Now, Get out of control

She hears a sound at her door
She puts her feet on the floor
By the side of that four poster bed
He?s drunk and he?s home
He won?t leave her alone
Pretty soon she will wish she was dead
She?ll come to tired and sore
Like each time before
When he swore it wouldn?t happen again
But now she is certain she?s tired of hurting
Some how it?s gonna end

She?s out of control out of his control
She is tired of hurting
She is ready to let him go
He has had control of her life
Since he made her his wife
They were married when she was eighteen
But if she walks out that door
She?s not his doormat no more
She finally knows what I mean
Now, She?s out of control
She's out of control




Comments for
OUT OF CONTROL country Lyrics Critique By Charlie from Alabama

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Nov 29, 2009
Rating
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lots of words to take in
by: Anonymous

I've been told by some pros to keep the lyric "Conversational", that is, use words you would in everyday speech. "...Doormat no more...
"...Too afraid to seek..." they have a formal sound, a rhyme for the sake of rhyme. Also the point of view is vague, is this a friend advising, telling her story?
Your theme is kind of a downer, and those songs don't go in today's market. Artists want upbeat stories people can identify with. The chorus words should be the same through each chorus. Listen to a favorite song, listen to the chorus. it's hard to identify with a girl/woman who wishes she was dead. Ouch! If she's been abused, try to bring it around to her deciding to make a new start, not dwelling too much on what happened, but what's going to happen. Good luck.

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