Opposites Repel Lyric Critique

by Jack
(Northfield, MN)

Veins black, Head pounds to a pulse,
Lips feel covered in mulch,
People so separated,
My own country, I want a truce,
Every time I try I just get pushed back, Its no use,
My closest allies drift off to sea,
on an island alone needing paper to breathe,
Survival tactics, No resource but my paper and lead,
Bleeding my days till I can lay in bed,
Dragging my life in a black trail,
How can I relate a knife to a nail,
Im not lost Im found,
But Im surrounded by people that I poorly astound,
It's done, I am me, Me is I, I is this and nothing more,
People in my circle don't even recognize the core,
I keep my box tight,
Nobody breaks through the wrapping,
My life races past I can't believe it is happening,

Chorus:
Best friends for life,
My Journal, My soul,
I celebrate myself, My thoughts in Whole,
I challenge myself to expand my mind,
But when nobody relates, why even write my rhymes,
Because they keep me sane,
How much more stress can I put on my brain

Verse 2:
Left alone in the corner,
Knees curled in,
My days numbered where do i begin,
Once the light goes out,
When my skins in drought,
I want people to know what I was about,
Leave a memory in there mind,
But if no one recognizes am I wasting my time,
Just a dust of pissed angst in a world of bland,
no one follows I am a one man band,
Make a stand,
Can't allow hurt beneath the skin,
My mind can bandage life's needles and pins,

Break through the mafia, Disengage the products,
Spit into a loudspeaker and remain modest,
Stick to the book I live by,
Not your book mine, I am the author,
Waking up taking breaths gets harder and harder,
I got lung disease, Without the smoke,
I'm societies mother fucking scapegoat,
Mind is tossed between potential and hate,
For most people I can't look them in the face,
So what am I, Am I E.T, What message do I scream,
I preach a belief that goes against the stream,

Chorus: ....

Verse 3:
Feel everyone has a whisper of the holder,
Explaining the chip I have on my shoulder,
No trust, I am a preacher of disgust,
Reporting the news of pain,
Explaining the side walk stains,
I can't keep attempting to shovel the garbage,
Red eyes a side effect of witnessing hardships,
Whipped by society, Lost in the mix,
Is it a puzzle without a solution to fix,
Sick of children becoming infected,
Yet with my knowledge I am rejected,
At least to me I am accepted,
You can only trust you,
Since you were a kid you've only worn one pair of shoes,
But sneakers come in pairs of two,
Each an opportunity to win or lose,
The last person with 20/20 vision,
Other parasites slip into submission,
A flood comes over my peers,
I am the only man that steers,
the only man afloat,
Jealousy comes over no longer the scapegoat,
I'm stuck on a deserted Island, but that's how I like it,
Take every manual, scripture and text and rewrite it