Not So Victimless Lies (were not ok) - Lyrics Critique- Pop punk

by Richard of RetroGrade
(San Antonio, Texas)

This is one of the songs from our band, RetroGrade. Just starting to get into the local scene and wanted to see exactly what people think of the words they will never hear live.. enjoy! myspace.com/retrogradesa

(verse 1)

I fall victim to her lies, like stars that shine downwards across the sky.
In plain sight for all to see, visible to all but me.
I woke up the next morning, as usual you were not there.
You should have seen this coming, still you call back,
and still you wonder

(chorus)

Why, I would leave.
First ask yourself how many f---ing times did you lie to me and
how, could you think,
Id walk away and not regret every mention of love to you?
(were not ok)

(verse 2)

The next day rolls on by, and all the stars that still survive sit tight.
In hopes that this not be the night, when they find out and fall so bright!!
Moons expose what suns cannot
in darkness, dim light seems to find
the small details we need to see
familiar exchange of words you ask

(chorus)

and then solo and stuff... so what do u think? Thanks in advance for your time and honesty..

- Richard from RetroGrade