My Lyrics Critique - Random song

by Deepti
(San Jose, CA)

I wanted to know what people thought. It doesnt Rhyme I wanst trying to make it Rhyme, but other than that...What do you think?

VERSE I:
I wear that tanzanite chain around my neck
Violet gleams against the sun, creating
a small rainbow across my hand
White plush bear huddles in the corner of my closet
push it back in my suitcase




VERSE II:
Kiss the top of your head
leaving has never been easy
But its a part of life
Sorting the pictures, brown eyes smiling
back at me
Memories flood my soul

CHORUS
My first Valentine, Our time is up
Its already killing me to lose
your face from my sight
Not to have your hand around mine
Rain starts, as if Nature knows...
Shedding tears with me...goodbye




VERSE III:
Life sure has changed, We've both
grown up...and now...
Without you, my life wasnt possible
A part of my heart forever
Tears fill my eyes when I say goodbye
Ill miss you...Miss you so much

CHORUS
My first Valentine, Our time is up
Its already killing me to lose
your face from my sight
Not to have your hand around mine
Rain starts, as if Nature knows...
Shedding tears with me...goodbye


BRIDGE:
I hop into your car, A young girl's smile
You kiss my cheek, giggles follow
As I blush.
Race to the movies, one container
of popcorn, two hands...eyes meet...


CHORUS
My first Valentine, Our time is up
Its already killing me to lose
your face from my sight
Not to have your hand around mine
Rain starts, as if Nature knows...
Shedding tears with me...goodbye