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Lyrics Critique - Untitled so far

I'm new at songwriting, but I wanted to get some honest reviews on this.

Verse 1
Look at the people all around you
Can you not see the suffering
The words they speak are so untrue
As are the promises they never keep
They throw stones at others hearts
And watch them as they fall apart

Chorus
I'm sick of all this pain and hate
I feel I'm gonna suffocate
Why can't we quit these selfish ways
And fully trust in Jesus' Name

Verse 2
There is hatred in so many
The kind have become so few
What did it take to get this way
What will it take to make it change
If we would stand together, never back down
The enemy would crumble to the ground




Comments for
Lyrics Critique - Untitled so far

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Mar 06, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
cool
by: allie

i think that is an awsome start realy realy good

Mar 10, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
keep up the good work
by: Anonymous

that is a cool song i mysilf is a songwriter as well I been writing music sice was about 15 years old then I stoped and now I'M back at it.

Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Be more insightful...answer the question
by: Anonymous

Like the part about throwing stones...expand by insightfully exposing human behavior that no one wants to admit...why do humans like to see others suffer...Just working together, to solve a human tendency (enjoying human suffering) is no answer...Why do so many want to see others suffer. Explain this in your song...answer the question and then offer a plausible poetic solution.

Aug 22, 2009
Rating
starstarstar
off to a good start
by: Lonnie

I liked the message, just keep writing on it, you're off to a good start

Click here to add your own comments





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