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Lost at Sea - Lyrics Critique

by ryan carroll
(Hazlet, Nj 07730)

Going to be played on Piano, with light Drums, and Guitar

Lost at Sea
I got a broken down car that can barley groove
Half a tank of gas, that makes it move
Its got a few holes in the floor
and a broken tail light
But it gets me to work, gets the job done right

I work the graveyard shift at Jones's lumber yard
Every morning I come home, smelling like a burt cigar
A stacks of bills greet me sitting on the kitchen table today
I only wish there was another way
Yea its like Im lost at sea
Yea lost at sea
Got problems always bothering me
As Im lost at sea

I thought I had the perfect life, two kids and a wife
A white picked fence surrounding my fairy tale
But as fate intervened, it made me drop to my knees
And pray to something, anything above

The date comes bye once a year
but to me every day I relive that fear
The day they were all taken away from me
My two kids and my wife, taken away from my life
A fatal accident is all they wrote
Yea its like Im lost at sea
Yea lost at sea
Got problems always bothering me
As Im lost at sea

Comments for
Lost at Sea - Lyrics Critique

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Sep 20, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Nice song
by: Anonymous

Really great song
Sep 30, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Format.
by: Ponani

All the way from S.A I can understand your song a tragic end for the man. All I can say is you can always write your lyrics under the said titles:

Verse-chorus-verse or any other arrangement using these titles. It makes for easier reading!
Nov 30, 2009
Rating
starstar 		dont really like the song lyrics...
by: Akilina Merel Koralie

one thing is that the title "lost at sea" makes me thing of this kind of thing "sounds sad" but when i read the lyrics i feel that it isnt serious enough.

i mean it is about a tragic event and is telling a tragic story of this guy. and how it is making him feel like he's lost at sea. i read the lyrics and it makes me first thing, think "what about the beat up car, what happened, how are you lost at sea?" i dont care about the car. you usually just want to know what happened first then the details right?

when puting it into a song you should steadily tell them to keep people listening your story.

when someone says lost at sea, what do you think?
i think that being lost at sea is a nearly hopeless situation full of despair. you have limited food and water.

no way of navigating not knowing where you are, after all you are lost.

sense you are at sea, it is too vast so it isnt a likely chance you will come upon, someone and you dont know when you will find land.

it is probably one of the worst situations you could ever be in; it will both mentally and physically wear you down.

Something tragic like losing loved ones or losing your "everything" isnt somthing to take lightly.

the beginning made me start losing interest. cause you kept talking about a car and the bills. then for some reason said that you were lost at sea. it didnt make sense.

or i could be misinterpreting. but whether you heed my advice and critisism which only makes one better even if it's from a beginner, is your choice
and yes i talk a lot

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