"Kiss me" - lyrics critique

[?] Subscribe To This Site

"Kiss me" - lyrics critique

by Katie Heyer

Sorry if it is bad. it's my first song. Keep in mind, I am only 10. Don't ask me how I got the idea.
Feel free to e-mail me if you like it.

heyer32@hotmail.com
----------------------

Mhmmmmmm... Mhmmmmm.
I always felt left out.
Everyone ignored me.
I wouldn't know who to trust.
mmm... yeah.
You finally came and turned that around.
Kiss me in the rain, and love me in the dark.
Hold me till' the end, and never break my heart.
'Cause you know I love you.
(I love you. I love you)
I used to be so shy.
I just wish that you knew.
The way I felt about you.
You could have
Kissed me in the rain, and loved me in the dark.
Held me till' the end, and never broke my heart.
But it's too late for that.
I wish you would have
Kissed me in the rain, and loved me in the dark.
Held me till' the end, and never broke my heart.
But, I till change my mind,
you're nothing to me.

Comments for
"Kiss me" - lyrics critique

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 21, 2009
Rating

wow.
by: Anonymous

that was awesome!
please write another!!!!
it was amazing.
you are pretty good for a 10 year old.

Aug 21, 2009
Rating

YOU ROCK!
by: Anonymous

OM FLOOKIN GOD THAT WAS AWESOME!

Aug 21, 2009
Rating

Very good for 10
by: Lonnie

you have a real talent. don't be afraid of critiziom, it will only make you better. I have read stuff on here that has been awful. If they are kids like you they should admite so that can be took into concerdertion. I think you will make a great song writer in the not to distant future. Keep writing and don't be afaird of failure

Aug 30, 2009
Rating

you're really good.
by: Anonymous

Oh my gosh, you're really good at songwriting! That's awesome for 10!!!

Aug 31, 2009
Rating

omigosh
by: Anonymous

ur good!

Sep 01, 2009
Rating

Wow
by: M

You're really 10 years old? Great job! Keep it up, that is so good especially for someone so young! :)

Sep 05, 2009
Rating

wow ; *
by: Katie

Thanks for rating my song 5 stars!!!
Thanks everyone who commented.
(:

Sep 17, 2009
Rating

awesome
by: jaylin

write another!! my uncle is a record dealer.

Sep 22, 2009
Rating

wow
by: Anonymous

that was really good haha
better than mine thats for sure

Sep 30, 2009
Rating

awesome
by: Anonymous

i really like the lyrics they were awesome good job

Oct 06, 2009
Rating

brilliant
by: Anonymous

Hi im new here and was taking a lil look around and saw your title, really really gd song, i cant believe your only 10, you will have an awesome future ahead if thats anything to go by.

I really enjoyed the internal ryhme.

Great job, well done (smile)

Oct 18, 2009
Rating

awesome
by: hendo

dude thats awesome. and ur only 10!?!?!?!? i wish i could have written like that wen i was ur age :/ neways im lookin for inspiration for a song for my gf. if anyone has anything, plz send it to me at mamaboy53@hotmail.com
ty

Oct 20, 2009
Rating

OMG
by: Anonymous

OMG I love it!!!!!!!!

Nov 09, 2009
Rating

omgosh
by: Anonymous

omg ! that was amazing !

Nov 20, 2009
Rating

that was great !
by: Anonymous

YOU have real talent , and for a ten year old that was AMAZING :) keep it up :)

Nov 25, 2009
Rating

Wow @(*_*)@
by: Mali

You, dear child, are AMAZING. Simply amazing. I have seen quite a few songs in my time, and most of them (written by adults, mind you) are completely awful. This has topped easily over half of them. Easily.

My words of advice: Keep writing songs and never give up. You have a talent. You're a natural born writer. Keep that in mind.

Nov 28, 2009
Rating

good job, grasshopper
by: Akilina Merel Koralie

it is actually good for a first time. and seeing how popular the lyrics are with those who read it, it can be really popular. lets just say i am not really into these type of songs. also, age doesnt matter. to me i dont care if you are a 10 year old, a 5 year old, or even as old as 100. (I mean i am only like a couple years older then you) and also:

grasshopper, thee does not need to fear critisism,
one must accept them,
especially if advice comes with it,
for it leads one to success and improvement
leading to less critisism

dont be too shy...(though i may not be one to talk) about getting advice on your lyrics.

now here it comes....critisism and my bad news opinions

it does stick to the title indicating you are kissed or you want to be kissed. but i cant really see the message or meaning in the song. first it says how this person changed you, then you say things indicating that it didnt happen and it should of or something like that.

so you need to try to get your message across.

maybe when you said "But its too late for that"
it means that you got in a fight with this guy or maybe it means this guy should of steped up to you or the such.

thats all i have im mind.

Nov 29, 2009
Rating

Good Job!
by: Kayla Bean

That was really good. Keep writing.

Dec 02, 2009
Rating

good
by: Anonymous

that was really good. thats how i write songs too. i try to write on things that happen to me, or to other people. I loved this song. I just wouldn't repeat the chorus too much. i would add some more words. Just act like you were in the person's shoes. and write what you feel or what you would do. It's a good song tho! Keep it up

Dec 08, 2009
Rating

AMAZING!
by: your mom

this is a pretty good song, you're pretty awesome for a ten year old. i thought it was pretty good.

Dec 28, 2009
Rating

age doesn't matter
by: Anonymous

Awesome!!!! You shouldn't worry about your age. That was really good.

Dec 30, 2009
Rating

All grown up
by: Anonymous

That's really great!
I started writing songs at 3 and admit they weren't great, but when I was 7 I wrote a song called "somebody else" and my mum loved it so much that even now, (at 14) she says, "Do you remember that song you wrote just after you turned 7? It's still my favorite! Can you sing it for me?" I like it . . but am kinda sick of it. What I'm trying to say though, is keep going with writing songs and you'll get way more confident. I promise you people will try to bring you down, but if you keep your head high you'll rise above them . . .and someday you'll get your limelight . . . infact, his could be it now. . . I'll wait to hear this in the future charts . . . xx

Apr 07, 2010
Rating

The best song yet on this site.
by: Amanda

I am a New York Songwriter and a woman and a grandmother. Your song really sings! And it shows real talent. Exceptional talent. It is lyrical and bright. Needs only a little editing.

But you must protect yourself on line. First, do not use your real name and real hometown. My other occupation is catching very bad criminals. So change everything right now. Use a stage name. A general geographical area, and no age.

Apr 13, 2010
Rating

WOoowww!
by: Stella

You are amazing! Im 13 and is writing songs as well, keep up your fabulous work :D

Sep 02, 2010
Rating

good
by: KristynCountry

I really liked it. You are a lot better than I was when I was ten (I'm 14 now)

Sep 13, 2010
Rating

soooooooo COOL
by: Maori Girl

iliked the lyrics they're really good. im working on a song at the moment and after reading this im pretty much put to shame (im 15)

anyway keep up the great work!

Oct 08, 2010
Rating

That's pretty awesome:)
by: Hollie

I'm 13 and you've put me to sheer shame. I love that song, you've got real skill there. Keep it up!

Oct 14, 2010
Rating

Nice
by: Anonymous

This is good like the feel you put into it
Keep writing

Jan 12, 2011
Rating

Pretty good
by: Anonymous

So, I think your lyrics are good, but their nothing special. songs like these are a dime a dozen in the pop world and if you want to make it you have to have lyrics that are unique, but still enjoyable. anyway keep writing cuz i think you could actually get somewhere if you want to.

Jan 14, 2011
Rating

???
by: jake

dude your only ten!! you should be writing songs about gumball machines not sex and making out. excellent rhythm and rhyme but try to write songs more appropriate for your age

Dec 24, 2011
Rating

AMAZING!!!!! NEW
by: Hannah

You have lots of talent for your age. I am 13 and stink at writing songs. I can see this as a record one day. I also sing it to myself trying to figure out the tune. Good job! :)

Click here to add your own comments