If You Were Here Today Lyrics Critique

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If You Were Here Today Lyrics Critique - slow song

by Bri
(Richmond, B.C, Canada)

It's not entirely finished yet. Advice/suggestions greatly appreciated/welcomed. Let me know whatcha think!!=)

I think of all the fun we had together
I always thought that it would last forever
But now you're gone
-
-

-
-
-
I put a red rose on your grave
And I lie awake at night and wonder
Just who you'd be
If you were here today

This emptiness inside of me
-
I try to hide my tears and be strong
But my friends all see right through

Bridge:
Even as I hold your hand
I feel you slippin' away
-
-
-

Repeat Chorus x2
END

Comments for
If You Were Here Today Lyrics Critique - slow song

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May 11, 2009
Rating

Absolutely Great!!
by: Anonymous

You have shown reasonable diligence!

May 11, 2009
Rating

Absolutely Great!!
by: Anonymous

You have shown reasonable diligence!

Jun 05, 2009
Rating

=')
by: areebah

i like the grave part. pretty without bein morbid. add some question marks in the chorus, if you know what i mean. the probing, like if you were here today id ask you...---? coz when ppl arent there anymore, thats the time u get to realize everythin u never bothered askin them abt..=)

Jun 07, 2009
Rating

re: Areebah
by: Bri

Thanks for your comment =)It's greatly appreciated. I like your idea and will try to add that in

Jul 17, 2009
Rating

love it it is different
by: Anonymous

If You Were Here Today Lyrics Critique - slow song

by Bri
(Richmond, B.C, Canada)

It's not entirely finished yet. Advice/suggestions greatly appreciated/welcomed. Let me know whatcha think!!=)

I think of all the fun we had together
I always thought that it would last forever
But now you're gone
-
-

-
-
-
I put a red rose on your grave
And I lie awake at night and wonder
Just who you'd be
If you were here today

This emptiness inside of me
>>>>Knocks me down to my knees
I try to hide my tears and be strong
But my friends all see right through

Bridge:
Even as I hold your hand
I feel you slippin' away
->>>>Please don't go today
->>>>>I beg and plead God not this time
->>>>>>Lets go back and rewind...before

I put a red rose on your grave
And I lie awake at night and wonder
Just who you'd be
If you were here today

Repeat Chorus x2
END

I love your song hope you like what I added!

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