Gabrielle Lyrics Critique - Rock/Pop Song

by Gabby
(davenport, iowa, united states)

I am looking for not a rough critique but not a soft critique either. I have a band but I am nothing but the song writer. So could you please critique all that needs critiqued. Thank-you!

BROKEN
VERSE1
when i walk
in the halls
do you stop to talk
to me (no)
if i said hi
would you say
hi back (would you?)

CHORUS
i am so lonely
i can't find anybody
to help me through
these days
i pray and pray
that some day
someone would help
me through
these days

VERSE2
if only you could see
what i was thinking
you might understand me
and what it's like to be
all alone
what would
you say (go to chorus)

BRIDGE
would you see
that i am broken
past repair
or would you just
keep pretending you
don't notice
and live your
perfect life (go to chorus 2x)

ENDING
i won't be
broken anymore

THANK-YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO CRITIQUE MY SONG! IF YOU COULD PLEASE REPLY FAST! I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. THANK-YOU AGAIN!