flashback - lyrics critique

by bethan wallis
(east yorkshire england)

Could people please comment on this one i am only young and just been writing for about 6-7 months please could someone feedback on this. the first bit is a bit weirdly organised just read it from left to right lol. please will someone comment.




Verse1: Something I know something I can?t tell, Woke me up and rung a bell I saw the puzzle for what it was And for the first time I didn?t feel lost If only you?d help me to get there Its possible we'd make a good pair But seen as you have a different view to me We struggle to see the sides of our own stories
Now I ain?t complaining we should have stayed close
But we played it different and battled with the coast
Stayed in a war we were never gonna win
Treating the moment as though it was a sin
But we were too proud better then all the kings
Thought we knew but messed up the whole thing
So just take the time and the patience
Just a little time for reminiscence
To remember how to forgive and
Live and chill and think about what were missing

Chorus: don?t have a reason, any point to explain
Just wish I could relive the moments again
And cos I am losing I ain?t got nothing to gain
But they say they were back in the good old days
Right there can?t say there wrong
Were we are now is were we belong
I was addicted couldn?t let it slip
Wish I could hold on but it was just too quick
A thought in the moment so I took the risk
I?m right in wishing that point could change
Go back and change the outcome of the day
Lost too much in so little time
Didn?t realise what was in my mind
If I could work it out I would relax
Allow time to pass for the relapse
Need time to recover from the flashback

Verse2: every night is sleepless I still here you shout
Screaming that you want to get out
I remember feeling full of doubt
In the happening watching your face throughout
Almost lifeless I needed too act now
A little too late for me it was time to blackout
How many times do I complain I had no control
The situation was crowded I was in overload
To much I couldn?t handle the part I was thrown
Screaming and shouting and cries and moans

Blood, cuts, wounds and guns
The injured the dying all on the same boat
As for me the only one a float
A memory so clear it tends to haunt
Nothing I?d ever wish for you to want
Something surreal a nightmare but the truth
Couldn?t leave the burden with you
It was mine to own my mind fuse blew
Something no being should be asked to do
A few moments to choose between life or death
Already a few took there last breath

Chorus.

Verse3: the fault wasn?t technical
Just needed someone to be logical
The moment wasn?t a book no time to be philosophical
Just needed to be ready to handle something practical
Take it in life things aren?t always the same
Seems to me I playing a whole different game
Will somebody show me were I went wrong
And point me in the direction were I really belong
As I know this place ain?t made for me
Cos? there?s miles more places I?d rather be
Is there others like me well they say possibly
You wanted the truth but can?t handle it directly
Cos? if you can?t let the picture pass
Then simply please don?t ask
The memory needs to be situated right at the back
Any time I think why I just see black.

Chorus.

Verse4: moment of despair take the time to engage
Now I can understand all of the outrage
As I know it could be me who?s the one to blame
Cos? my emotions are still pretty plain
Don?t want to hear it just wanna blank it out
You?ve already had your chance to shout
Just sit there shut it tight and make do with the pout
No more room and no more page
For you to have the last say
You?re the one who went your own way
Blames on me hold ma hands high and you should to
Place yourself deep in my shoes
Tell me how you live it through my eyes
Is really worth all that you despise
Do you realise I feel as bad as I tell
See why it so hard for me to rebel
Just think about how I must feel
To relive that event which was so surreal
The answer to all who were lost forgotten and gone
For something that I really hadn?t done
Really it happened but it wasn?t meant
Safe to say we can?t call it an accident

Chorus.