Emergency Exit Lyric Critique: Love song.

by Ponani
(South Africa)

Warm greetings to all lyricists. These lyrics are from my first effort to write a song. I have been frustrated as to where can I submit it for appraisal. Please help.

Verse 1

In silence we walk through a bridleway
In our minds our souls lay
Two paths wait to part us astray
Each step we take leads to the end of our way
And
I wish...

Chorus

For an emergency exit to a:
Space where my battles are won
A place where my spirit is not torn
A place where I am not forlorn

Verse 2

For our love I fought
A sword I wrought and wield
With bravery and gleaming shield
Alas, I lost in the echoing noise
A sad defeat of poise
And
I wish...

Chorus

For an emergency exit to a:
Space where my battles are won
A place where my spirit is not torn
A place where I am not forlorn

Bridge

I wish for an emergency exit
That leads to a fairytale place
Where the tears I cry
Dying on my face
The sun of joy will dry...
How I wish...

Chorus

For an emergency exit to a:
Space where my battles are won
A place where my spirit is not torn
A place where I am not forlorn

End

If sadness I wore
Solace would wait behind the emergency exit door...