Don't Know Who I Am Lyrics Critique

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Don't Know Who I Am Lyrics Critique - Pop

by Sam Lyon
(Cheshire, England, UK)

I've just got the verse so far, please tell me what you think of it!

''I’m lost in a thousand dreams
Not sure which ones are real
Now this magic love letter feels
As if the envelope won’t seal.

And everyone thinks I’ve changed
But I don’t even know
And all these tears seem so strange
But there’s nothing left to show''

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Don't Know Who I Am Lyrics Critique - Pop

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Oct 31, 2008
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hi
by: talitha

good potential keep it up

Mar 07, 2009
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Great!
by: Krystal

I think it needs something big, the hook, the thing that gets people's attention. Try rewriting it, using th same words, but add more to it. It works for me when I don't have enough in my songs. Circle the lines that you want to keep, then star the lines that need rewording. Try it out. Keep in mind the theme of your song, and apply it to all verses and chorus's and bridges. I think your song has great potential, so just keep aiming higher than you think you can reach!

Aug 24, 2011
Rating

great start!
by: Anonymous

I think you just need a really good hook. One that grabs the listeners attention saying "wow I never really thought about it like that" or "wow that is actually how I feel". Dig deep beyond what people would expect to hear and you'll find just the write words!

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