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Conversational - Lyrics Critique Please!

by Cameron T
(Auckland NZ)

Hey, I just quickly wrote this on my lunch break...let me know what you think...let me know if you get what the story is about!

Cameron Thorp © 2008

Verse 1 :

I lost my words, a minute ago
Slow motion drama, just for show
You say that I'm wrong
To keep switching off and on
This conversation, turns things upside down...

My mind went blank, I didnt know
If i lit the wick, If this would explode
You say that I'm wrong
To say this on the phone
This conversation, turns things upside down...

Chorus : ................
.........................................


I am trying to get better at showing not telling..
Let me know what you think of my lyrics and if you can get a picture of what the song is about or what is going on...

Comments for
Conversational - Lyrics Critique Please!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

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Nov 01, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		:)
by: Sweetie

I lost my words, a minute ago
Slow motion drama, just for show
You say that I'm wrong
To keep switching off and on
This conversation, turns things upside down...

My mind went blank, I didnt know
If i lit the wick, If this would explode
You say that I'm wrong
To say this on the phone
This conversation, turns things upside down

What else you want me to do
when everything has always been 'bout you
now that all the focus is on me
it's the time I'm wrong

you wanna start pointing out finger?
plz, don't start with me but yourself
don't be mad 'cause u're my passed and I got my future........ (and so on)

I like it... it's great:)

Chorus : ................
.........................................

Nov 23, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Nice
by: Jake

Good start, finish it man, it's got a good sound! Good use of showing not telling, makes this lyric much more interesting! Check out my song, "Time" and tell me what you think!

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