Change Lyrics Critique - Acoustic Song

by Riley
(Australia)

I wanted to write a song based on something that just happened to me. But i want people to enjoy and relate to it, not feel sick from its lameness. Unfortunately i don't play any instruments, I work with my friend and she makes the music after I write the lyrics.


So i heard the news on a Wednesday,
I stood there confused but I will say,
a smile creeped out, from inside my mouth,
just knowing that you were ok

you told me that she makes you happy,
i'm wondering just how could that be,
but again i won't lie,
to see you not cry,
is worth any pain that'll bring me

the oldest feelings that never die,
will always belong right by your side,
so as you go, can i let you know..

chorous - ?