Carry this Burden lyrics critique - Folk

by Tim
(Houston)

I'd love a review of these.

If you want to hear the song, check out http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_6297053


the circles of a vulture
round top my grave
give chills to my widow
and redemption to my name

when I lived I was rabid
and fearful of the sting
hid inside my corner
ignored the blessings it would bring

You'll carry this burden
while you're a young man

Grow old and look back satisfied

I'll watch the inside
While they're looking down

In the end, at least I tried

I've cradled my comfort
in the open arms of strangers
because family won't matter
be it sooner or be it later

siblings who drown in afterbirth
be they brothers or be they aunts
haunt the shallow ghost
of a family on the ropes

You'll carry this burden
while you're a young man

Grow old and look back satisfied

I'll watch the inside
While they're looking down

In the end, at least I tried