"Believe In Us" Lyrics Critique - Rock or Alternative Genre

by MacGyver March
(Glendale, AZ, USA)

I just want this song critiqued on every aspect as accurately and harshly as possible. I do not have a tempo or key in mind right now, so there is quite a bit of leeway with the direction of the song. I just want to keep the meaning of my song in tact. Now on to the song lyrics:


Verse 1
Why don't you love me, like I love you?
Why do you hate me? What did I do?
Fearing the desolate lonesome filling my plate.
I cannot stand the feeling of hate.
Carefree, can't be... why have you left me?
I see, you need... something I can't be.
And I don't wanna know, why you bring me sorrow.
If only we were still together, come tomorrow!

Chorus
Now believe in us.
I swear I can be here forever!
I'm falling now, thus
I can't reach my endeavor!
Believe in this,
please don't say never!

Verse 2
I leave this place, a disgrace.
Trying is no use,
you caused a life without virtue.
Morales stripped, a violent trip down... memory lane!
My life is one filled with blatant pain.
I yearn for our lives to be the same.
Don't take away my love, please tell me it's just a bluff.

Chorus
Now believe in us.
I swear I can be here forever!
I'm falling now, thus
I can't reach my endeavor!
Believe in this,
please don't say never!

Verse 3
Don't stay way, we will never life it down.
I may spend an eternity to hunt you down.
I lie awake at night, wondering what might...become.
Distant crashing waves at my window,
speak of my dearest echo...
that is you.

Outro
I believe in what should have been.
Turned out you waited to betray me in the end.
Now my dearly beloved, we have gathered here to say... one thing.
Although it's just a dream, I do love you...


And that is the song. Any feedback, good or bad, is greatly appreciated and desired! I will return the favor of course, and I look forward to hearing from the great community assistance at hand.