AndyL.UK. Savannah Falls. Please Critique. THIS IS A REDRAFT

by andrew lavelle
(uk)

Just got told I haven't got any rhythm. I would love to prove them wrong........ BUT I CANT SING A NOTE! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Savannah falls by sapphires night.

Like rainfall a sparkling delight.

Savannah is hot n travelling light.

Swaying as the train takes flight.
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She’s not out 2 make it right.

When the sleeper arrives in the city 2 night.

Fleeing like a firefly from the dawns light.

Savannah is escaping seeking respite.


Coz her hearts hardened.

She’s not gonna get pardoned.

With a heart like a lock.

If the key don’t fit she’ll mock.


Savannah is cool,

The cities just a tool.

Not gonna b taken 4 a fool.

Doesn’t live where a heartbreak can rule.

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CHORUS.
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Savannah makes them drawl.

How can beauty b so cruel?

Savannahs is gonna get it right.

Racing through the subways under artificial light.

Other commuters watching and taking delight.

But 4 Savannah the attention makes her take flight.

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CHORUS.
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Stepping onto the station.Her ipods on 1 2 1 elation.

U know the sensation.

Right across the nation.

Flashing a smile she hails a cab.

The driver seems sweet, but his conversations drab.

Telling him 2 stop at a kerb.

With his gaze in the mirror he’d begun 2 disturb.

Throwing her change,

She escapes out of his range.

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CHORUS 2


Savannah falls by sapphires night.

Like rainfall a sparkling delight.

Savannah is hot n travelling light.

Swaying like a butterfly in flight.
——————————————-

Another sunrise will set Savannah alight,

like the desert she’ll blaze into life.

She’s the sweet rain that will ease the parched strife.

Savannahs as unruly as hell

She’s come 2 dwell in this city of strife.

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CHORUS 2

Savannah falls by sapphires night.

Like rainfall a sparkling delight.

Savannah is hot n travelling light.

Swaying like a butterfly in flight.
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